The Generosity Challenge

Our church, PCBC, has offered up a Generosity Challenge. An opportunity to seek from God how we can be more generous with our time, money, and gifts. What better time of year to be focusing on giving more of ourselves, than Christmas? A time when there is such temptation to focus on ourselves and our family, what we want, what our kids want, and how to get it all at a better price. It is the season of shopping, and sales... black Friday... Cyber Monday... And I found myself standing at the beginning of this season with a pretty bad attitude. I didn't have the extra money for all the shopping, and I spend more time trying NOT to search out more things my children want. In America we hunt through websites, search catalogs, and question our friends trying to figure out what else to buy our children, and not having the wallet to keep up with this Holiday tradition, I was feeling a little "out of Spirit". Until I was reminded by my sweet church what the Season should be all about. We may not be able to buy lots of presents for family and friends, but God has given us abundance that we can give away and share this Christmas! Abundant love, abundant talents, abundant resources. Jesus came and dwelled among us, He didn't bring a present, he brought Himself. That is what my girls and I plan to give away this Christmas ~ our gifts, our time, and any extra money that the Lord allows us the privlege of giving away. Last Sunday Pastor Sam allowed us to walk to the alter and get on our knees before the Lord, asking Him how to share the "overflow" that He has blessed us with. And so that is exactly what my girls and I did, walked down to that alter and huddled before the Lord asking Him to magnify our giving this Christmas. Show us where to give and how, open doors of opportunity, open our eyes to need and suffering, and move us to respond. We started the Advent Season tonight, with a beautiful worship service at church. Thank you God for worship. Toward the end, we were able to bring our gifts to the alter. Emma and Madeleine each carried a $5 bill to the alter and placed it in the plate. Such a small gift, but such a blessing to us. Let the Season of giving BEGIN!! The last thing we did in our worship service was to pray. Pastor Jeff asked us to hold out our hands, empty palms open to the Lord as a reminder that we truly have nothing to give - we are ALL empty handed before the Lord. And when those hands are empty and opened up to Him, He will fill them to overflow from His abundance. As I prayed with my empty hands open to the Lord in surrender, surrender to need, surrender to want ~ Madeleine placed her chin in my right hand, and then Emma placed her chin in my left hand. And there I was eyes closed - hands full of my precious children's faces. Oh how He gives from His abundance. And His gifts are better than anything that might come out of a bank account... Our verse tonight, Micah 6:6;8 "What can we bring to the Lord? What kind of offerings should we give Him... the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you; to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."

He has brought you to this place

At night when I do my daily Bible reading, I pray first and ask God what He has for me. What nugget of truth in this random selection of the Bible was designed for my heart on this night. Last night I got something powerful. Deuteronomy 1:29-31 "Don't be shocked or afraid of them! The LORD your God is going ahead of you. He will fight for you, just as you saw Him do in Egypt. And you saw how the LORD your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now He has brought you to this place." This was especially impactful because I had just read a reminder of the Israelites asking God to allow them to send out spies into the Promised Land, to scout it. The Lord allowed them to do this, but it was disasterous. They were overcome by fear at what they heard, went into total revolt, and all but 2 of them (Joshua and Caleb) were denied entrance to the Promise Land for their unbelief. And I immediately thought - oh no! Is that me? Am I suffering the consequences of a poor decision? God will at times use His permissive will to allow us to do things that were not His soveriegn will, but if we do not stay close close close, it will not turn out well... And then I read the scripture above. Do not be afraid, the Lord is going ahead of you, He will FIGHT for you. How many of us need to hear that Word? You are not alone! And then a reminder to look back, to remember all of the ways that He cared for me in the past. How well He has loved me, blessed me, protected me in the wilderness ~ just as a father cares for his child. We are treasured. And then I think how the Israelites must have felt like I do at times. The places where they experienced their greatest failures, and lack of trust, were times that looked pretty desolate. Times of no food, no water, or times of listening to the testimony of 10 men who are telling you that the situation is BLEAK, they scouted it out - they SAW with their own eyes, being told, we cannot conquer this situation. And sometimes, I am tempted to believe those same lies. Sometimes I am tempted to think God just must not be working because things are going from bad to worse. But that is not truth! Truth is that though the situation is bleak, and I am not strong enough to conquer it, and in human terms it is impossible... I serve the LORD God almighty - who ALREADY has conquered it. See there, "he is going ahead of you."vs 30. Just look back and see His faithfulness, and then follow Him as He fights for you. And last of all, my favorite line... He has brought you to this place. I am here on purpose. I am not here on accident. I am not here because of my sin, or another person's sin or failure. I am here on purpose - brought here by the same faithful God who has proved Himself over and over again in the wilderness. He has a mighty plan for this time, for THIS place. He has Kingdom purposes for me - right here. And I believe that wherever we find ourselves, after whatever has happened... if we will surrender fully to the Lord, it instantly becomes His plan, His place for us, and His purposes will be fufilled. Surrender is what snatches us out of Satan's hand and places us at the foot of the cross, where grace pours down over us. I am exactly where the Lord would have me to be, praise God!

Tassels on Clothing

I read 4 verses today from the Bible, and the Lord said, "Stop. Those are for you today - plant those in your heart instead of reading on." And I tried... I closed my Bible and I told myself, I need tassles on my clothing to remind myself to obey all the commands of the LORD instead of following my own desires and defiling myself, as I am prone to do. Numbers 15:39 But now... "I sit in ashes and dust"- just as Job did (Job 42:6), after sinning against the Lord and being put in his rightful place. What a horrible day of yelling at my girls while they yelled at each other. Losing my temper over miniscule things that won't matter in eternity (if I have to pick up one more toy, I will burst!!!) Making Madeleine cry - making myself cry - making Emma cower - making Billy come home AGAIN to ill- tempers, bad behavior (mine and the girls) - awful. I sit in ashes and dust. Oh Lord, help me let the small stuff go, and help me to know what is small and what is mighty! Help me allow the house to be a wreck, to sleep more, pray more, sit and read with my darling ones more, help me wear tassels on my clothing to remember! I cannot allow them to speak to me that way, to speak to her sister that way, to disobey blatently and to leave messes all over the house for someone else to clean, but I must better model grace and self-control and the love and joy of Jesus during these frustrating days. I must get rid of all anger and rage... and be renewed as I learn to know my Creator and become like Him. (Col 3:8). I must also model the grace and forgiveness and long suffering that my Father extends to me, over and over and over again. While I prayed with them before bed, I asked forgiveness from God for losing my temper today and repented before my girls - but was yelling again 30 minutes later when they still weren't asleep, still acting up. Ahhh... I need tassels on my clothes... And at the end of the day, when the child I struggled most with today was almost asleep, I cuddled up into her neck and whispered in her ear how good she is, how sweet she is, how precious she is to me. I was reminded by God that she is my nurturing child who always wants to rub my feet and give me a massage, to comfort me. And now, I hear her coughing - as she has since she went to sleep - and I am reminded also that many of these behaviors we fret over are tied to something else - perhaps a virus coming on? Oh Give me tassels on my clothes to help me remember to seek you and obey on the tough days, so I don't have regret at night. Oh sweet Jesus, give me grace as I mother - as I fail - as I try so hard to be deserving of these precious children that you have entrusted to me, as I try desperatly to raise them to be righteous, kind, gracious, and responsible. Help me strike that delicate balance between teaching self-control and trying to control everything myself. Help me to teach them respectfulness, and model it to them with my own tone of voice. You do it so perfectly Father - and I fall at your feet to seek your help and guidance and wisdom. Thank you Father for this enormous responisiblity, and thank you for days like today that remind me of my great dependance on You. Give me tassels on my clothes to help me remember to seek you and obey. I am attaching a picture of my girls yesterday at the roller rink - a happier day... A reminder that joy cometh with the morning!

To Move or Not to Move???

We all know that the Israelites wandered in their faithfulness to God. Their 11 day journey ~ stretched to 40 years, humbles us and reminds us of ourselves. But, the times they were faithful are such beautiful reminders too! I read again tonight about one of my favorite examples of their faithfulness. It is found in the book of Numbers chapter 9, and it is in reference to the pillar of cloud they followed by day, and the pillar of fire it became by night. This was God's most precious gift to His people, His presence guiding them by day and keeping them from being afraid by night. It provided light to the Israelites, but darkness to their enemies (Exodus 14:19-20). Numbers 9:17-23 is a wonderful passage, I won't qoute it entirely so go read it right away! "Whenever the cloud lifted from over the sacred tent, the people would break camp and follow it. And whenever the cloud settled, the people would set up camp. In this way, they traveled and camped at the Lord's command wherever He told them to go. Then they remained in the camp as long as the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle. If the cloud remained over the Tabernacle a long time, the Israelites stayed and performed their duty to the LORD... whether the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle for two days, or a month or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on... SO they camped or traveled at the LORD's command, and did whatever He told them through Moses." Don't you love how these people just stayed and waited on the LORD. They were not given an itenerary, or a schedule. They had no idea when they would move again. They just trusted Him, and moved when He moved and stayed when He stayed. Oh, the simplicity of this picture. We do not serve a God who makes things difficult to figure out, obscure or questionable. We can trust Him when He is on the move, and we can trust us when He has us waiting. No need for worry and anxiety - He knows the plan, and He will move us along when it is time. Right now, my sister is a wonderful example of this kind of trust. Her house may or may not have been sold, it is almost completely packed up despite the 5 year old, 2 year old and infant that she is trying to provide a "home" for. There has not been an accurate appraisal, the buyer is now saying he won't pay the price he offered in the contract, and he knows my sister and her husband won't take less, yet he has not canceled the closing date set for THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! My sister and her family have no where to move to, and won't sign an apartment lease until they find out whether their house is sold or not... They are just waiting on the LORD, staying if He says "stay", moving if He says "move". Trusting in the most insecure and uncertain of times. And she has Peace like I have not seen in her before, because she has Jesus, and she can trust Him even when she can't trust her circumstances (in this instance, "the buyer"). Our "cloud" looks different than the Israelites. It is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit Himself, it is the guidance of the Word of God, and it is our sweet Savior Jesus who is sitting at the right hand of God "pleading for us." Romans 8:34. We have so much more guidance than a cloud by day and a pillar by night. We have the Lord Almighty within us and constantly praying for us, closing all those wrong doors so that we do not walk through them (just as He did for Paul in Acts 16, preventing him from going certain places). Let's not grow discouraged when the days of waiting become months, and the months become years. I am in that place too! Let's instead trust the leading of our Father, and just "continue performing our duty to the Lord." (v.19) Whether we move forward or wait.