Tassels on Clothing

I read 4 verses today from the Bible, and the Lord said, "Stop. Those are for you today - plant those in your heart instead of reading on." And I tried... I closed my Bible and I told myself, I need tassles on my clothing to remind myself to obey all the commands of the LORD instead of following my own desires and defiling myself, as I am prone to do. Numbers 15:39 But now... "I sit in ashes and dust"- just as Job did (Job 42:6), after sinning against the Lord and being put in his rightful place. What a horrible day of yelling at my girls while they yelled at each other. Losing my temper over miniscule things that won't matter in eternity (if I have to pick up one more toy, I will burst!!!) Making Madeleine cry - making myself cry - making Emma cower - making Billy come home AGAIN to ill- tempers, bad behavior (mine and the girls) - awful. I sit in ashes and dust. Oh Lord, help me let the small stuff go, and help me to know what is small and what is mighty! Help me allow the house to be a wreck, to sleep more, pray more, sit and read with my darling ones more, help me wear tassels on my clothing to remember! I cannot allow them to speak to me that way, to speak to her sister that way, to disobey blatently and to leave messes all over the house for someone else to clean, but I must better model grace and self-control and the love and joy of Jesus during these frustrating days. I must get rid of all anger and rage... and be renewed as I learn to know my Creator and become like Him. (Col 3:8). I must also model the grace and forgiveness and long suffering that my Father extends to me, over and over and over again. While I prayed with them before bed, I asked forgiveness from God for losing my temper today and repented before my girls - but was yelling again 30 minutes later when they still weren't asleep, still acting up. Ahhh... I need tassels on my clothes... And at the end of the day, when the child I struggled most with today was almost asleep, I cuddled up into her neck and whispered in her ear how good she is, how sweet she is, how precious she is to me. I was reminded by God that she is my nurturing child who always wants to rub my feet and give me a massage, to comfort me. And now, I hear her coughing - as she has since she went to sleep - and I am reminded also that many of these behaviors we fret over are tied to something else - perhaps a virus coming on? Oh Give me tassels on my clothes to help me remember to seek you and obey on the tough days, so I don't have regret at night. Oh sweet Jesus, give me grace as I mother - as I fail - as I try so hard to be deserving of these precious children that you have entrusted to me, as I try desperatly to raise them to be righteous, kind, gracious, and responsible. Help me strike that delicate balance between teaching self-control and trying to control everything myself. Help me to teach them respectfulness, and model it to them with my own tone of voice. You do it so perfectly Father - and I fall at your feet to seek your help and guidance and wisdom. Thank you Father for this enormous responisiblity, and thank you for days like today that remind me of my great dependance on You. Give me tassels on my clothes to help me remember to seek you and obey. I am attaching a picture of my girls yesterday at the roller rink - a happier day... A reminder that joy cometh with the morning!