My BSF teacher leader stepped all over my toes tonight when she spoke about the sin of the Israelites on their Promised Land journey, for complaining against the Lord, and wishing they were still back in Egypt. We are studying the life of Moses, and tonight we were in Numbers 11:4
"The foreign rabble traveling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt, and the people of Israel began to complain."
See it all came down to meat... oh and not being satisfied with God's perfect provision of Manna.
These people forgot about the slavery, forgot about the deaths of their sons, forgot about the beatings and oppression, and just remembered the garlic and the leeks and the onions and the fish ~ the meat. And they wanted to go back.
And I was so convicted because that is what I do. I prayed for the Lord to rescue us, and He answered and provided me with a full time teaching job, a good job right in my neighborhood, serving underprivileged children, learning so much, and making enough money to cover the bills. But I reject His gift and want to go back. Of course the reasons I want to go back are good reasons. I loved working for my church in ministry. And I mostly loved the flexibility it offered me to drop my girls off at school and pick them up, and eat lunch with them once a week. To be able to volunteer at their school, to lead the Bible study at their Evangelism Club and have a Moms prayer group at my house. To see my girls right at 3:00, to hear about their day and do homework with them. Sweet gifts from the Lord that I treasured and I miss dearly. But truth be told, those were difficult years of not enough, of stretched very thin, of begging the Lord for help and rescue. There was some bondage.
So the people had a choice of how to approach this desire for meat. They could (A) ask the Lord to give them meat, with a grateful heart for how He had been so faithful to them already with manna, and he might have said yes! (B) They could ask God for contentment, make us content with manna, your perfect provision. Make us thankful! Or they could (C)wail and complain. They went with (C) and it cost them dearly.
And I find myself wailing and complaining a lot too. I love my job. I am thankful for my job, but I find myself looking back at Egypt and thinking I was better off when... Forgive me Lord, for rejecting your good gift. Forgive me, my friends and family, who have had to put up with my ungrateful heart ~ you MUST be thinking, "Lisetta, do you recall how hard those years were? Those were the years the locusts ate! The stripping locusts, swarming locusts, hopping locusts, cutting locusts (Joel 2:25) Let's please not miss that."
Father God, give me contentment with my current situation. Help me stand against the temptation to look back on another season and wish for that again. I want to receive your good gifts, and be thankful and joyful. I have ministry work to do here in this place, and do I not believe that you are a BIG enough God to increase my time with my girls, to give me back each precious moment I think I am losing? To extend our weekends and evenings and make our shorter amount of time actually sweeter and more meaningful than it might have been otherwise?
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed, they will put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40:2-3
Oh sweet Father, may my complaining never steal another ounce of the Glory due to you, and may I never stand in the way of people seeing your GOOD work in my life and put their trust in You. The risks and consequences of my complaining heart are far too great. Give me contentment with your perfect manna. Help me take my eyes off of the lives that you have chosen for others, and just live to the fullest the life you have perfectly chosen for me. It is good - because You are good.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Sunday, February 8, 2015
IF 2015
Well, Hey There!
That's what my friend Ginger always says when it has been awhile since we talked. It has indeed been awhile...
I am in the middle of IF 2015.
I watched session 1 at home with an ailing child (drama), and then went to my local Lake Highlands Gathering and watched session 4 live stream with other beautiful Believers who prayed with me and worshipped with me (awesome), session 2 was in my pjs last night (drowsy), and today I will watch session 3 (which I hear is the most powerful - can't wait). We are studying Joshua, as he led the Israelites across the Jordan and into the Promised Land, and told them not to fear...
At the end of session 4, we asked God what is next and wrote it on a rock, to set up an alter of His past faithfulness and the new work He is going to accomplish through us. And for me the nagging direction that I have been refusing to obey is "write it down." And even more specifically, because God is so modern and techy "blog". But, I don't really want to blog. I am too tired, I have no time ~ Hey God, remember that I work full time?, and it gets pretty personal too... I am weary ~ which is different than tired. It settles in after a long hard journey, and for me it is not wanting to deal anymore, mentally tired, needing to check out, let go... really not feeling it Lord. But the nagging has remained and I have known that it is an area of disobedience, and so for now... I will blog. I wrote it on a rock.
So, now I have this rock as my accountability partner, and she is so pushy! So I got up this morning to start obeying.
We were reminded this weekend, of the Israelites crossing over the Jordan into the Promised Land to take Jericho. BEFORE God conquered the city on their behalf, they set up an alter and worshipped, right there with a powerful city and fortified walls looming ahead of them. It had been a long road for the Hebrews and they were weary, but they had seen a generation before them give up on the Lord's promises in their fear and weariness, and they were not going to make the same mistake. So, they set up an alter and they obeyed, even though still in the desert.
Our amazing IF local team, championed by my friend Jessica, put together a gift bag (seen above with my pushy rock), and in that gift bag was this beautiful scripture reminder.
It has been a long 6 years, but what IF I am almost across the river? What IF I on the other side and just about to watch God tear down some fortified walls? What IF He is just about to fulfill a promise, and I miss it because of my lack of obedience.
What IF I lived like I really believed God, every day?
That's what my friend Ginger always says when it has been awhile since we talked. It has indeed been awhile...
I am in the middle of IF 2015.
I watched session 1 at home with an ailing child (drama), and then went to my local Lake Highlands Gathering and watched session 4 live stream with other beautiful Believers who prayed with me and worshipped with me (awesome), session 2 was in my pjs last night (drowsy), and today I will watch session 3 (which I hear is the most powerful - can't wait). We are studying Joshua, as he led the Israelites across the Jordan and into the Promised Land, and told them not to fear...
At the end of session 4, we asked God what is next and wrote it on a rock, to set up an alter of His past faithfulness and the new work He is going to accomplish through us. And for me the nagging direction that I have been refusing to obey is "write it down." And even more specifically, because God is so modern and techy "blog". But, I don't really want to blog. I am too tired, I have no time ~ Hey God, remember that I work full time?, and it gets pretty personal too... I am weary ~ which is different than tired. It settles in after a long hard journey, and for me it is not wanting to deal anymore, mentally tired, needing to check out, let go... really not feeling it Lord. But the nagging has remained and I have known that it is an area of disobedience, and so for now... I will blog. I wrote it on a rock.
We were reminded this weekend, of the Israelites crossing over the Jordan into the Promised Land to take Jericho. BEFORE God conquered the city on their behalf, they set up an alter and worshipped, right there with a powerful city and fortified walls looming ahead of them. It had been a long road for the Hebrews and they were weary, but they had seen a generation before them give up on the Lord's promises in their fear and weariness, and they were not going to make the same mistake. So, they set up an alter and they obeyed, even though still in the desert.
Our amazing IF local team, championed by my friend Jessica, put together a gift bag (seen above with my pushy rock), and in that gift bag was this beautiful scripture reminder.
It has been a long 6 years, but what IF I am almost across the river? What IF I on the other side and just about to watch God tear down some fortified walls? What IF He is just about to fulfill a promise, and I miss it because of my lack of obedience.
What IF I lived like I really believed God, every day?
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