"you removed my sackcloth...

...and clothed me with joy. That my heart may sing to you and not be silent, O Lord my God I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:11-12
I want to record the blessings from the Lord concerning my accident. He protected and provided in so many ways, and I have come to know Him deeper as a Merciful God.
First of all, the girls were not with me in the car. They were with me 2 Sundays ago on the way to church, and Emma rode with me this week ~ but last week I was alone. Praise, praise, praise God.
Another blessing is the car that I wrecked was our 11 year old Honda with 160,000 miles on it. The AC no longer worked, the locks did not work, there was a large crack in the windshield, and it was truly a "let's pray this car lasts through law school" car. Between the 2 cars, much better to total that one, than the one we really depend on. Plus, had I been driving the Tahoe, I likely would have caused more injury to the girl that I hit. Which brings me to the biggest praise of the whole accident. Both she and I, walked away from our cars. I have spent too much time thinking of what I could have done to another person because of my carelessness, and I just praise our Merciful Savior for protecting her. The EMT on the scene checked her and said she was fine, but she went to the ER just to be sure, and they did find a fracture in her hand. I was devastated when I learned I had hurt her, but praising God that it was not spinal or head injuries. Thank you Jesus. (please pray that she heals quickly.) The police officer on the scene mistook me for a witness when I walked up to him, because he thought that the person driving the Honda must be in the ambulance (from looking at the car). God provided supernatural protection that I did not deserve.
One of the most amazing provisions this week, has been a car to borrow. I never thought I would need to borrow a CAR - but here we are, and I believe that this is straight from the Lord (via the Carll family.) Kendall Carll decided he could not pass up a great deal on a new Suburban for his wife, Brandy, expecting baby number 3. So, 2 days before I totaled our car, he bought a new car - which left a Dodge Durango sitting in the family driveway until March 15th, when he will trade in the car he is driving and drive the Durango again. So, they have graciously loaned us the Durango, and told us they do not need it back until March. Is that amazing? The Lord foreknew what I would do in my sinfulness, and already had a provision in place in order to begin the "redeeming process". To say that we are indebted to the Carll's is quite an understatement. When I explained to the girls, where this BEAUTIFUL almost new vehicle came from, Emma said, "What can we give to someone who is letting us use their car? We can't give anything that is equal to a car!" My sentiments exactly. All I have to give, is glory to the Lord because of their generosity. We will all testify to the goodness of God because of this family. When I told Billy about the offer of the car through February, he said, "that is amazing, because I was trying to figure out a way to get us to March when we will likely get a tax refund and be able to combine that with the insurance check and get something a little more dependable." God's timing is miraculous. Just amazes us.
Yet another provision, is that my Sunday school teacher told me Wednesday night, that several families in our class were pitching in, and the deductible was covered. Then my dear sweet childhood friend, Ginger, came over last night with an envelope filled with the amount of my deductible, and said that Her husband wants to cover it for us. Neither Ginger and Scott or my Sunday School friends will take their money back ~ they both say, if the deductible is already covered, then use it for groceries... so, the deductible was covered, twice. I even tried to give money back to a couple at church today who had not contributed (I thought they had). That was awkward - haha - they were like, "um, we don't know what you are talking about, but we would have given if we had known." Could you just die? Oh, the lessons in humility just keep coming. So, my friend, Cynthia, says that is what I get for trying to give people's money back after the Lord has provided. :)
There were a million other provisions. One of my worries on Sunday was, how am I going to get to the grocery store and get meals planned for this week when I can't even get out of bed? Regardless of my depression, my family has to eat. I did not have to cook all week, because people just kept showing up with food.
I remember gripping the wheel in the middle of the accident and just saying, "Help me Jesus" over and over again. And I now realize that He already had. He had gone before me and worked out a car, deductible payment, and even meals for the week. I am so unworthy, but He is merciful.
The sweetest gift of the accident was being able to see Billy walk in such forgiveness and love towards me. I have put us in an even worse financial spot than we already were. Put us in an even greater spot of dependence, and brought a huge burden on him right before finals. He has done nothing but extend grace and kindness. When he arrived at the scene of the accident, I said - "what are we going to do? I have totaled your car" and he said "we will buy a new car." Just like that - as if we could! :) This week he has washed dishes, done laundry, bought flowers - anything he can think of to show me he loves me, regardless of my failures.
I am so thankful to God for my friends, my church, my husband, my family. God is a merciful Savior - and I believe He allowed me to fall in my sinfulness in order to show Himself mighty. The day after the accident, my friend Cara texted me 2 Cor. 12 :9 "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." ~ Now, that is something I can offer the Lord, weakness... Paul goes on to say, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Praise Jesus.